Brackium Emendo

It’s no secret that the outside world is pretty heavy right now. So I recently decided to escape to the wizarding world instead. Guess what? It’s also a little dark and heavy, but there’s magic, so it’s a lot more fun! I have been saying for weeks years that I am going to reread the Harry Potter series, but instead I decided to rewatch all the movies. I thought I’d slowly rewatch them over the course of a month or so, but then I binge-watched the first three in one sitting on a rainy day.

While they’re fresh in my mind, I thought I’d do a little likes/dislikes/ranking of sorts. Disclaimer: I have not read the Harry Potter books since they first came out, so I remember very little about the actual books. These rankings are based solely on how I felt about the movies themselves, not how closely they followed the storyline or whether they stayed true to the books. I guess you could call me a casual Potterhead.

Let’s go!

#8: Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets

The first two movies felt very much like children’s movies, so they’re my least favorite. I liked the second film a little less than the first because the first was just that: The first! How exciting. You get introduced to all the characters, and it’s your first brush with magic. Naturally, the first film edged out the second, even if just ever so slightly. Also—as much as I hate to admit it—I’m not a huge Ginny fan and feel like a big reason for that is the missed opportunity to properly introduce her in this film. They kind of missed the boat on character development with that one.

#7: Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone

No surprise after I spoiled this with my Chamber of Secrets commentary, but the first film comes next on the list of least favorites. Very kiddish. I was absolutely thrilled about it back when it first came out because I was, well, a kid. But now I’m a grown-ass 30-year-old woman who demands more from her children’s movies. And I’m not going to apologize for that!

Ok, it’s going to get really hard now because I LOVE the rest of the films! Here we go…

#6: Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix

This one is SO good! But it takes sixth place for me because it’s very much focused on Harry Potter. I know that sounds stupid because they’re all called “Harry Potter & The _____,” but hear me out. I’m not a Harry hater, but I do think these stories are at their best when there’s more going on than just Harry. Everyone is all over him and telling him he’s the best throughout this movie (except Umbridge, my queen), and it just gets a little sickening old.

With that said, hats off to Delores Umbridge for being so terrible that she’s enjoyable to watch. I loved her signature pink suits and got a kick out of her character. Also loved taking a break from the Harry worship to see that James was kind of a bully and maybe not the best guy. Justice for Snape!

This movie was seriously so great, and this is a crime that I have to rank these last six.

#5: Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire

I know a lot of people hated this one because it wasn’t true to the book and felt super rushed and then drawn out, etc. But I LOVED it. I loved watching the Hermione/Ron dynamic. I loved seeing all these new characters from other schools come in and the drama that came with that. I loved the tournament and seeing Voldemort become a full-bodied human. (I promise I don’t root for the bad guys. I just appreciate what they bring to the story.) I love the part where Voldy says “Crucio!” because my sister and I saw the scene together once and died laughing because it sounded just like the way my brother says “croque monsieur.” (As you can probably guess from that clue, he doesn’t say it right.)

I didn’t love that Cedric died, but there’s a lot of death in the remainder of these movies, so I guess that’s magic school, baby.

#4: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part One

Another masterpiece. Parts one and two of Deathly Hallows were so cinematically beautiful and well done. I really don’t have any complaints. The only small thing that pushed this down the list a little is that it very much feels like a set-up for the final movie rather than a movie in itself. (Makes sense, since it’s called “Part One” and all.) I kind of wish they had just smashed these last two films together into one. I would have gladly sat in a theater for six hours watching the story unfold because it was really beautifully told.

Anyway, the other reason this one is ranked lower than part two is because of that weird naked Hermione/Harry scene. The sweet dancing scene was A+; the naked scene not so much. I’m not a prude, but I feel like Ron’s jealousy could have manifested in a way that felt more true to the Harry Potter series.

#3: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part Two

The grand finale. The film to end all films. (Just kidding. But it was good.) We finally got to see Ron and Hermione kiss in this one! I had a HUGE crush on Rupert Grint when I was little, and it only intensified as I grew up with him with each movie’s release. So I was stoked for my girl Emma Watson. I love Ron and Hermione together.

I also really liked seeing Narcissa put Draco before Voldemort. Draco is such a tragic character, and it’s nice to see his mother protect him.

#2: Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince

Snape szn! Love me some Snape, especially because my mom has met Alan Rickman, which is so freaking cool. Like I mentioned before, I get a little tired of the Harry worshiping, and it was nice to see Harry have to take a page out of Snape’s book (literally).

Super sad that Dumbledore died in this movie, but the funeral scene was really beautiful.

#1: Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban

The BEST of the Potter films, hands down. This was the first one to take a dark twist and felt like it had so much more depth than the first two. I also remember watching the promotional material before it came out and Emma Watson exclaiming, “Hermione gets to wear jeans in this one!” And my 12-year-old self was like, “Hell yeah! Emma is SO freaking COOL! I can’t wait to see her wear jeans.” I also have a distinct memory of wanting my hair to look like hers and begging for a perm.

The time travel aspect of this one was really interesting too. It was kind of fun to see that mixed in with the magic of this world.

Anyway, those are my rankings. It’s very possible I mixed up some of these because, like I said, I watched them all super close together. For me, it was basically one long movie, and I loved every minute (but some minutes more than others).

HP4EVER!